Cast Introduction: The New Magnificent 7 … plus One

4 Oct

Cast Introduction:
The New Magnificent Seven

As they say: The atmosphere is electric.

But I hate these tuxedo affairs.

DAMN! I just spilt some wine on my boots.

“Oh Hi Mickey”

Rourke. … Everybody is here.

OOP – The lights are going down … better get to my seat.
_________________________________________________________

“Ladeeeez and Gentlemen!!!”
… announces a disembodied voice:

“Introducing your NEW MAGNIFICENT SEVEN !!!

Generous Applause …
Hopeful enthusiasm … tinged with fear.

Mine.

“Reprising the main role of Chris made famous by Yul Brynner …”

“TOM CRUISE !!!”

Brynner - Cruise

Whoa !!! Tom gets some large appreciation.
No problem.
But his selection was already out of the bag.

Tom take a bow … waves … flashes his famous grin.

“Tom’s role by default”, I’m thinking.
He’s good though. Sometimes great.
But the inevitable comparisons with (Yul Brynner)
It’s tough.

“No matter” I mumble, “I think he’s up to it.”
__________________________________________________________

Moving along …

“Ladies and Gentlemen!!”

“Reprising the role of Vin Tanner played formerly by Steve McQueen … “

VIGGO MORTENSEN !!!”

Steve McQueen - Viggo Mortenson

I notice people sitting forward in their seats.
Nodding … yeah … YEAH !
Lots of applause … LOTS.
Viggo is popular.

Viggo looks dapper, casual … salutes.

“VIggo as Vin” I say.
(I think I aced that one)

… 5 to go.
__________________________________________________________

Next …

“Ladies and Gentlemen!!”

“Reprising the role of Britt that was played by James Coburn … “

GUY PEARCE!!!”

James Coburn - Guy Pearce

“OH !”  “I love Guy.” I hear Spielberg’s wife exclaim.
Steven nods. “Yes … yes. That should work very well.”

Guy is welcomed … tanned and grinning.

I feel a swell of growing enthusiasm.

Things seem to be working.

But I’m still sweating.
__________________________________________________________

Next …

“Ladies and Gentlemen !!!!”

“Reprising the role of Bernardo O’Reilly which was played by the very popular Charles Bronson … “

WILLEN DAFOE!!!”

Charles Bronson - Willem Dafoe
“Holy Crap !!!” I hear Matt Damon shout … rising from his seat …
“This is gonna be one a hell of a movie!
Wish I was in it”

Willem shakes hands with Tom, Viggo, Guy … waves …

“Yaaa !!! Yeahhh !!!” I yell.
I can’t help it.

A lot of people are standing now …
__________________________________________________________

Next intro …

“Ladies and Gentlemen!!

“Hot, from his role as the Villain in Star Trek ,,, and playing the role of Lee made famous by Robert Vaughn … “

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH !!!”

Vaughn - Cumberbach

*silence* … a gasp or two !!
“Well I’ll be damned !!” says Harrison Ford.
“How the hell did they get him !?”
“Inspired.”

Excited applause arises … Ringing !

Cumberbatch is dapper, unscarved.

… I wasn’t too sure …

“Way to go Ben” !!!
__________________________________________________________

The next intro …

“Ladies and Gentlemen!!

“Reprising the part of Harry Luck that was played by Brad Dexter … “

BRENDAN FRASER !!!”

Brad Dexter - Brendan Fraser

“Wooo hooo” … I hear Sly yelp. “Nice call!”
“Make it sing Brendan!”

Fraser throws his cowboy hat into the crowd.

“YEAH !! YEAH !!”

I can’t believe it …

It rocks !
__________________________________________________________

Next intro …

“And now Ladies and Gentlemen!!”

“The last of the Seven … “

“Reprising the role of Chico that was performed by Horst Buchholz … “

AARON PAUL !!!”

Horst Buchholz - Aaron Paul

Aaron runs onto the stage …

The joy is high.

The SEVEN are complete !!

Everybody’s standing now …
OVATION … !!!

The New SEVEN take a bow …
__________________________________________________________

“And Lastly” … intones the MC, above the din …

… Ladies and Gentlemen …. “

“Reprising the part of the Mexican Bandito Calvera – formerly played by the great Eli Wallach … “

“ANTONIO BANDERAS !!!”

Eli Wallach - Antonio Banderas

“O My …. Goodness !”
shouts Gene Hackman.
“Way to go Tony !!!”

Antonio has his hair slicked back. Looks a bit shy.
… takes a mock poke from Fraser.

Thunderous applause !!!

___________________________________________________

All is well.
____________________________________________________

“Whew!”

I slump into my chair

“Monsieur JC …?”

I turn.
A waiter hands me a bottle of Canadian Club.
“Complements of Monsieur Cruise.”

The tag reads:

“Mission accomplished”
_____________________________________

I just hope my cheque is in the mail.
_____________________________________

3 Responses to “Cast Introduction: The New Magnificent 7 … plus One”

  1. cindybruchman October 5, 2013 at 7:03 am #

    lol> You obviously had a lot of fun recasting–I wish someone would listen to you! What a movie your line up would be….still think Shia would be better at Aaron ;)

    • jcalberta October 5, 2013 at 8:15 am #

      i shoulda put that in there !!
      yeah it was a lot of fun.
      but basically a suicide mission because everybody will have a different idea.
      which is OK around here.

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  1. Cast Introduction: The New Magnificent 7 … plus One | My Favorite Westerns - October 5, 2013

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